Responsibility

I have been thinking about this topic quite a bit the last few months.  It is the theme for this session’s Club PALS and this quarter’s Round Table Discussion.  And, probably because God is so perfect in His timing, the topic is presenting itself in my personal life time and again.

Chores, family inter-dependence, and simply cleaning up after oneself all have to do with responsibility. Last week I spent most of my time deep cleaning, organizing and purging our home.  These last few days, we have cooked what finally totaled 52 meals.  Through it all, lessons in responsibility for my kids keep popping up. 

Having an organized home, clean kids and a crisp-looking life is desirable.  And when we can pull it off, it is great.  But I have to wonder what is sacrificed if such an image is upheld all the time.

Last night while we were working on our final recipe we sang, “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love”.  This song has always stirred my heart to a greater calling and I am thankful my kids know and love it as well.

When all the cooking was done, I asked the kids to wipe down the table for me and help with the floors.  Both went through the motions.  I sent them out to get the mail and came to inspect their work.  My first thought?  “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

I was tired, my feet hurt, I hadn’t had lunch and still had a mountain of laundry to tackle.  I have been trying to teach the kids this trait of responsibility by getting them to consistently do good work in their chores.  When they don’t do it well, I gently (no, seriously, I really do!) tell them to do it again.

But as I stared at the splotched table and the literally crumby floor, I wondered how to respond this time.  These kids have been troopers.  We have gotten up early to take my husband to work so that we would have the van for shopping and other errands.  Would I be teaching them responsibility if I made them redo their clean-up job?

Or would I be going against the instruction in Ephesians 6:4 and merely provoking them to anger?  That is a tough balance, that verse.  We are to raise them up, discipline them.  But pushing too hard is counterproductive. 

Not many can spot hypocrisy in your behavior faster than your own children.  Can I really sing about working side by side, being known by my love and guarding dignity with any credibility if I also get all obsessive about crumbs and splotches? 

So they got a pass.  I redid the floors and tables.  Then we snuggled together for some relaxing TV until Daddy came home.  Responsibility is important, but I’ve got to be careful about teaching to what it is we are supposed to be responsible.  The reason for chores and cleaning up after oneself is to be courteous to others and to be part of something larger than ourselves.  When I can keep that in mind, I can find the balance needed to obey that verse in Ephesians.

Do you ever get lost in the details?