Planning a Vacation

We are going on vacation—and boy, am I looking forward to it!  Even so, I seem stalled in planning the details.  We are going someplace entirely new to us.  I am so visual, that not being able to picture things is really hampering me.

As the day for our departure nears, I fear we will end up doing nothing!

Isn’t that the way?  Or is it just me?  Do big dreams without the details leave you frozen?  I find I do this with school, Bible studies, local recreation, you name it.  I want to do so much and the volume of it all overwhelms me.  I end up just kicking myself for doing nothing at all.

I think my kids suffer from the same problem.  Have you ever watched your kids try to clean a destroyed room?  Or tackle a full math page?  Or a blindingly empty writing page?  My son likes to write books.  Some he has completed, but he has many undone.  There is a whole list of scenarios unexplored; I think it is because there is a whole list of scenarios unexplored!

It seems the endless opportunities that limit action.  What can I do to save my kids from becoming petrified people, frozen b y choices?  I think the key is to limit distraction and teach that baby steps actually do get us somewhere.

I guess I could also serve as a better role model!  So I am off to put together a bit of a plan.  Any suggestions for visiting the North California and South Oregon coasts?

Maximizing Our Time

The apparent theme for my life right now is that time flies.  There just never seems to be enough hours, days or weeks to accommodate all there is to be done.  I guess the more honest phrasing of that should be that there just never seems to be enough time to accommodate all that I want to do.  And as the time slips away, I just can't get it back.  Choices have to be made.  Priorities have to be declared.

I love boring life--the routine, the stability.  Vacation are exciting.  Visiting with friends is refreshing for the soul.  Special circumstances are...special.  But I also appreciate that part of life that isn't so exciting, refreshing or special.  Laundry, dishes, school, chores: the routine.  My kids are sweeter and better filled when we live with routine.  My house is cleaner, which makes life generally more pleasant. 

And really, if regular life isn't what I live for, what am I living for?  If I am grinding through the daily toil just to get a breath on the weekend…. Well, what an exhausting way to live!

But if I can fill our days with what is important, there is no reason to hold my breath while going through it.  I feel that I have so much more to give my kids before they are gone to adulthood.  I panic when I think how little time there is left for me to give to them.  So I need to put into the daily life those important things--the things they will carry with them.  I can't just wait for the breaks to make things special.  Each day needs to be important.

So, help me out here.  What do you do routinely to build the family bond and memories?  Do you have any special traditions?  What tools to you use to get through the tough times?

New Season, New Calendar

Here comes September!  It is going to be a crazy fun month, I think.  Personally, I am really excited about going on vacation with my family.  We are going to check out the Redwoods for the first time.

The new season is bringing all sorts of terrific activities.  KidsROCK has some very neat ones planned.  You can always go to our website to see our calendar.  At the bottom of the introductory paragraph is a link to a printable calendar.  You can also look specifically at our tours, classes and events. 

Let me share with you some of the fun opportunities available just this month.  On September 2, we are going to visit some petroglyphs as part of the California History series.  You do not need to be enrolled in that class to participate and the tour is free.  Wear good hiking clothes and shoes, and be ready to get dirty!  This will be a fun one!

On the 13th, we have a busy KidsROCK day!  First up is the kickoff to Get Fit!  This will be a six week class meeting Mondays from 11:30-12:30.  Come out to to the college track to play games and get fit!

We are also going to check out the horses through the BLM.  This will likely be another dusty tour, so dress appropriately.  The tour is free, and you have any questions you can email our tour coordinators.  They can contact our guides before the tour to make special requests to cover certain topics.  Talk about tailor made!

And to bring the 13th to a close, gather with other homeschoolers for the Round Table Discussion.  This is such a great time to pool our knowledge and experience.  We will be discussing responsibility and how to foster that trait in our children.

Next up is a tour to the Susanville Museum on the 16th.  This tour is also in conjunction with our California History class.  It is free and you do not need to be enrolled to take part.

Finally, if you are enrolled in Club PALS, your mandatory Session Training is happening at the end of the month.  Members meeting on Friday mornings will have training on the 24th.  Friday afternoon people will train the week before on the 17th and the Monday morning group will meet on the 27th.  Questions can be emailed to clubpals@kidsrockacademy.net.

Lots of fun, great people, learning opportunities….What more could you ask for?  Our deadline for registration is the first, so mark your calendar and join us!

Is Hassle- and Worry-free Schooling Possible? Part 4

Conclusion:

It does seem that if we can keep our focus, that we absolutely can school without hassle or worry—for the most part.  We are human, after all.  While we strive for perfection, we must also afford ourselves grace for sanity’s sake, if nothing else.

So homeschool without hassle and worry!  Don’t give these attitudes a foothold in your day.  Throw out the idea that the world is full of right and wrong answers. 

Instead, praise and hug your kids for valiant tries.  Laugh with them, follow rabbit trails and get messy.  Consider letting them lead the conversations.  Explore the world around you.  Go on walks, hit the library and give the kids ample opportunities to serve.  Love the snot out of them.  Let them know they are tops!  Tell them what they are good at doing.  Tell them what makes them special. 

Read to them.  Ask them what they think will happen next or what they would have done in that situation.  Teach them to think, open their minds, leave no stone unturned.

Give them plenty to do with their hands.  Let them create, manipulate and build.  Clay, sand and play dough are important tactile experiences for growing hands.  Blocks that interlock, shaped blocks and foam blocks teach them spatial relationships.  Drawings with pencils, paint and chalk all result in a variety that stimulates their senses.  Allow ample time for these things through the week on their own, alongside you and while you read to them.

Most importantly, tell them they are fearfully and wonderfully made.  (Psalm 139:14)  Remind them they were knitted together by their Creator most perfectly.  (Job 10:10-12, Psalm 139:13)  Teach them to know His word and share His love. (Psalm 40:10, Deuteronomy 11:18)  Give them Truth that lasts for eternity and teach them to abide in it daily.

Your school days will not only be hassle- and worry-free, they will be something you all will come to anticipate.  You will be making specific memories and an entire amalgam of memories that will bless all your lives far beyond these fast flying years.

Bless and be blessed.

Is Hassle- and Worry-free Schooling Possible? Part 3

I have had the pleasure of speaking with homeschoolers all this week who are readying for the new school year.  It is a time to re-examine curriculum choices, evaluate the needs and learning styles of the children, and even incorporate the next child more formally into the school day.  Exciting stuff!

Some have gone to conventions, some belong to homeschool networks and support groups.  Planning and implementing is in the forefront of their minds.  Gaining perspective and understanding of how to put what is important first is the goal.

Overwhelmingly at the top of the list of importance is this radical notion that offends some and brings a deep sigh of relief to others.  No matter the reaction, I have become convinced it is quite true. 

This radical notion grabbing the hearts of homeschoolers is that the early elementary years—some would argue the entire elementary years—are not about academics at all.  Academics at this age don’t matter. 

‘What?’ You say.  ‘But I spent all that money, I forced the kids to sit, to write, to read, to compute.  What about the importance of the first five years??  If the first five are important, surely the first five school years are, too!’

Well, they are.  But not because of academics.  I am not suggesting you forbid your child from learning his math facts, how to write or how to read.  Expose them, certainly, but expect nothing.  Those lessons will be repeated time and again through their school careers, and I respectfully submit that you do not know how to read because you learned in the first grade (or earlier, or later).  You know how to read because you continued to read throughout your life.  You know how to compute  figures because you do it now. And you may not be so good at it if you don’t do it now!  What does that little nugget of truth reveal?  We learn through exposure and repetition. 

The focus and purpose of those early years are far more important than anything so trivial as one plus one equals two.  Those first years of school teach love for learning—or not.  They teach the child to see himself as a lifelong accomplished scholar—or not.  The child learns she is important and loved unconditionally—or not.  The child learns how to learn, what he is worth and how to behave.  The scary thing is that they learn these things whether or not you are aware of it. 

Consider this.  Are there any subjects that you don’t like?  Why is that?  Because you aren’t good at them?  Why not?  You got bad grades as a kid?  You weren’t exposed to enough lessons?  You had a mean teacher?  Or what about a cute guy or best friend sitting next to you in that class?  

What does any of that have to do with grammar, or history or chemistry?  Nothing!  And yet it shaped how you feel about a subject and determined for you whether you are ‘good’ at it or not. I hope you see my point.  What and how we learn has far more to do with environment and how we see ourselves fitting into that environment than just the academic facts with which we are presented.

When we as parents are watching the clock, the calendar and the checklist—and perhaps the Jones family next door—our focus is on performance and timeliness.   The big lesson is, 'Get it done now.’  We get frantic and impatient.  Our children interpret that as conditional love. “Everything will be ok when we do well. We must get good grades and sit still so that Mommy doesn’t turn scary.” (No peeking into my house, please.)

When we as parents are watching character, confidence and a sense of community, our focus is on equipping our children and timelessness.  Our children experience that and know that how they behave and treat people is what matters.  A good attitude with school and trying their best will be rewarded.  Mistakes and slow going aren’t a cause for concern, but are par for the course when learning something challenging.

These lessons will help them in life.  Let’s face it, there are lots of challenges out there.  We want our children to respond with calm perseverance and integrity, right?  They learn these lessons from those first school years. 

Be at peace with wherever your children are academically.  One of the ladies I spoke with this week said that you can learn your times tables in three years of haranguing or in thirty minutes when you are developmentally ready.   What a revelation that is, and I hope it brings you peace!  Whatever may be missed can be made up later if that child knows how to learn, and knows just how smart and special she is.  Without confidence, however, every encounter that reveals a gap in her education (and we all have them) will only confirm what she knows: she is dumb.

(Continued tomorrow with the conclusion: what to do with your kids)

Is Hassle- and Worry-free Schooling Possible? Part 2

Our Lord doesn’t want us to live a life of worry.  But what a long time companion it has been to us!  Even while Christ walked the earth, He strove to remind the people to shun it.

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Matt 6:25-27 (emphasis mine)

But we cannot deny the tremendous responsibility we bear when we decide to homeschool.  It can be overwhelming to think of all the things we need to teach before our children leave our homes.  When we try to grasp the vastness of this task, it can intimidate even the best of us.  But our Lord gives us direction.  Later in Matthew we read:

³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This verse has always evoked a rather jaded chuckle from my depths.  It is maybe a little too true.  But if we could follow this wisdom, could we actually school with joy—could my family look like those glossy homeschool catalog pictures?

I confess that I fail my kids miserably with my own attitude.  I worry about the calendar, about squeezing in every Language Arts element, about giving them enough ‘elective’ style subjects to make them competitively well rounded.  I set goals and standards and give myself deadlines.  When we start to get close to those deadlines and the goals or standards are still past the horizon, I become one mean mom.  No photos, please!

I can become so frantic that my kids have even become afraid to ask me for help.  I am so ashamed to type that, but it is true.  I lose sight of why I am schooling because I … well, I am not sure why.  Because I like check boxes, I like graphs and plans and standards.  Life really isn’t that clean and trouble brews when my plans become more important than the little people I am schooling.  Sometimes it seems I defeat my purpose in homeschooling by homeschooling!  How dizzying.

When I find myself on the ground, shaking my spinning head, I have a couple of choices.  I can leave that behind—repent—and get back on track: school my kids with joy for learning.  Or I can get on my knees and start digging a hole, because just being on the ground wasn’t lesson enough!  I can beat myself up for being a bad mom, I can beat myself (and my kids) up for not learning fast enough, or finishing that book on time.  I can increase the pressure to perform, power through, get it done.

I can’t say I have never made choice B.  The blessed thing about this life the Lord has given us is that He is always there, waiting.  There isn’t a point where I can’t stop digging that stinking hole and reach up for a hand out.  I can always start again.

I do think we can school without hassle and worry.  How?  By doing today what can be done today.  By practicing the daily discipline of knowing our children.  When we know them, we know how hard to push for a challenge, and when to say that the calendar needs to be thrown out and this kid needs a hug.  Don’t lose sight of the big picture because of your big picture.   Have a little faith, show patience, have perspective and laugh!

Is Hassle- and Worry-free Schooling Possible? Part 1

The number of ways to homeschool is limitless.  Families who use the exact same supplies do not school in the same way.  The books may sound familiar, but the commonalities could easily end there.  Even within a family, a parent may school her children differently.  One child works well independently, another needs mom right by her side for everything.  One learns best by listening and still another has to keep his hands busy for any hope of processing the lesson. 

This is why...

These possibilities and freedom for diversity is the richness that is homeschooling.  Each and every homeschooling child has the opportunity for an individually tailored education.  I think it is a good sign when I see differences in homeschooling.  It takes thought and purpose to develop a lifestyle that enhances family life, and it will look different from family to family—and even year to year. 

Sadly, there does seems to be a commonality in homeschool families I see, especially those in the first four or five years.  The most devastating part of this is that it has no place in any home where Christ is Lord.  It is the worry I see that breaks my heart.  The frantic, desperate and even fear-driven atmosphere doesn’t help learning and it throws the worst kind of monkey wrench into a smoothly running family.

...I homeschool.

I said that I see this most often in families at the beginning of their homeschool lives.  I think this is because time gives perspective.  When we can see first-hand—Oh, Lord let us learn by seeing, rather than having to experience every painful road—the futility of fretting over the details during the homeschool day, we learn to relax.  

Think about parenting in general.  You know the stereotypical first time mom who fusses over every sniffle and owie.  They pore over the experts’ books, and panic at every milestone.  On the other hand, the mom who has five or six kids has learned that the kids heal, the kids are resilient and that the momma-hearts don’t need all that fluster.

The same is true for homeschooling.  We begin with the charts and standards.  They need to read by February 3, know their addition facts up to twelves by March 6 and really should understand the digestive system before May 17.  And if we are going to finish that workbook by June 1, we need to do four pages every day. 

Experience teaches us that meeting those deadlines at the expense of learning, relationship and self-esteem doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  We realize they will get it.  The question is, will they get it and still be in one piece?

Just like the wise mother advises the young mother that the child will not cross the graduation stage in diapers, so can the experienced homeschooler assure the new homeschooler that they will not enter the world illiterate.

(Continued tomorrow!)

New Blog Writing Program

Do you ever feel that there is always something new around the corner?  I sure do.  Sometimes it is overwhelming.  Sometimes, just when I feel like I have mastered something and can take a breath, I realize everything I know is obsolete.  That is a hard pill to swallow.  Other times, blessedly, it is just exciting.  I embrace those times.

 

Right now I am using a new-to-me blog writing program that was recommended to me by a friend.  I am excited to learn new things, and I don’t think I have ever learned as much as I have while working for KidsROCK!

 

I am thankful to friends who patiently wait on me as I figure out new things and try to gain new skills.  My husband jokes about my marketability.  I have learned much more in the years of homeschooling than I did in my years of college.

 

It is an established truth for kids that they learn through play.  I don’t know why adults have to be any different!  When I am having fun, I know I am willing to stick with a task for a longer period of time, I am more patient with my mistakes and I’m even more willing to take a risk.  I guess I feel that the fun makes a total loss still worth my time.

 

So, here I get to play with a new program!  Quality matters, and I do want to do what I do in a worthwhile manner, so I am very thankful to my friend for showing me there is a better way to do this.  I hope you enjoy watching as I learn.

Check out my tilted picture with popped color!  New tricks already!

Ephesians 4

Our reading for school today included the beginning of Ephesians 4.  This passage just hit the spot for me.  It is so very relevant to each and every believer, each and every day of our lives.  The instruction is pretty simple to understand.  Achieving it takes more than a lifetime.  But to what more worthy cause can we apply our days?

Just the first few sentences have a list of attitudes that would take my full concentration to emulate.  Be humble, gentle, patient, put up with one another, and be united through peace.  What a beautiful reminder to get back to basics!

Ephesians 4

Unity in the Body of Christ

 ¹As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ²Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— ⁵one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.  ⁷But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. ⁸This is why it says:
   "When he ascended on high,
      he led captives in his train
      and gave gifts to men." ⁹(What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? ¹⁰He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) ¹¹It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, ¹²to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
 ¹⁴Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

NIV copied from Biblegateway.com

What a Relief!

This is another post from my personal blog.  It comes from a conversation I had yesterday with my kids during school time.  What began as a pointed lesson in contentment and obedience--God gave you to me because he wanted me to make you be good, so you better just get used to it (all delivered with demure sweetness)--became a lesson for myself in faith and letting go.  

I don't have to worry about gaps in what I give them.  God already knew what I had to offer and as long as I team with him, it will be enough.  I can rest in faith that God is in control and the provider of all good things, and protector through all trials.  Then--now this is the hard part--I need to let it go.  My kids will take what they receive and live according to the Spirit's leading (Lord, I pray!).  I have no right to direct them or take it personally when a grown child doesn't choose my plans for him or her.  

Don't you love it when those lessons you toss out boomerang and whack you right between the eyes?

We had a great conversation in school today. The lesson was about Moses. We were learning that Moses' family and childhood prepared him for leading the slaves from Egypt. God acts with equal purpose today when placing His children into families.

The analogy we used was getting ready to go outside without knowing in any way what the weather would be. How do you prepare for that? Truly, it matters greatly if you are walking out to frozen tundra, scorching dessert, a racing tornado, or a mild spring day. Without appropriate dress, you could easily die!

But I don't know the weather any better than the children do that I am supposed to be dressing . That is where faith comes in. God knows I make jackets. He knows my neighbor makes light cotton blouses, and the family on the other side is all about the anorak.

He also knows all there is to know about our children: their strengths and weaknesses; the trials, temptations and triumphs to come. And He knows how to best prepare and equip His precious lambs for their specific futures. The first step was to place them in the perfect family.

I can't tell you the wonderful peace that came over me as we talked about this. It is just another reminder that I don't need to be everything or cover everything before I send my kids into the world. I just need to make my coats.

And if they find themselves in a warmer climate, they will rip those jackets up and sew them into a shade. Or if they find themselves next to an ocean, they might turn the sleeves into floating inner tubes. I may wander in and wonder what on earth they are doing with my beautiful jackets. I can imagine being totally flabbergasted! I must remember that it is only my job to make what I make and to give what I have. What they do with it is up to them. I will thank the Lord that they still find my jackets worth keeping around at all!

Movie Day Coming Up!!

 KidsROCK Book and Movie Club

So exciting!  We are watching City of Ember tomorrow.  We finished the book, though the ending is a cliffhanger in the worst way.  I guess it is a gift that we don't have another book and movie scheduled anytime soon, so we can finish the Ember series!

My kids really enjoyed the book, and so did I!  I am looking forward to hearing impressions from the rest of the group.  The book touched on a lot of issues and I am interested to see what others thought.

Our school is designed to do lots of reading.  Our normal day requires us to sample from a minimum of 6 books.  I love this style of teaching, but book and movie with a group adds a new element.  Knowing friends are reading the same thing, understanding references and sharing a familiarity with characters adds a richness we can't duplicate on our own. 

Yesterday at Lego Club, I had to tease the boys into different topics of conversation because some had seen the movie we will watch tomorrow, and others hadn't.  But all wanted to discuss the book!  How cool is a bunch of boys sitting around building with Legos discussing literature??

I Just Love It!

I really am passionate about homeschooling.  Crazy passionate.   I spend a lot of time emphasizing that homeschooling isn't for everyone, or for every season of any one family's life.  I also firmly believe that within homeschooling, there are as many methods, styles, reasons, goals and budgets to homeschooling that trying to speak comprehensively about the ways and means of homeschooling is impossible.

In all my allowances, sometimes I forget just how much I love it!  But on occasion, I am blessed with someone curious and full of questions and I get to gush! A-hem, but with dignity and reserve, of course. 

The freedom of homeschooling is intoxicating to me.  I love how we are all able to meet our children in their needs to be challenged and encouraged to the most minute degree.  Homeschooling families navigate this vast ocean of options, no one taking quite the same route.  And I consider it a privilege to witness so many families finding their way, getting comfortable tacking back and forth, finding their own wind.

Every problem is an opportunity to more intricately tailor this lifestyle to the family.  I imagine by the end of the schooling experience, each family is wearing a perfectly fit, colorful robing that reflects and glorifies their very identity.

Because of the infinite possibilities, I never tire of talking about all things homeschooling.  So if you ever want to chat, you know where to find me!

Has it Been Three Days?

The weekend just flew by!  And for me, the traditional weekend isn't even the weekend.  Our work week runs from Thursday to Monday and so our week flew by.  My daughter got sick, then got better, but I wanted to play it safe and keep her quiet a day or so longer.  She resisted that with flourish! 

Yesterday was the first day I allowed for her to be 'well.'  Oh, my!  She spent the energy of three bed days all before 8 am.  I have never seen anyone so excited to be healthy before.  She ran and skipped everywhere she went just because she could.  Her joy was unmatched, but also contagious.

One of our often-sung family songs is, "This is the Day the Lord Has Made." (I will rejoice and be glad in it.)  My daughter lived and breathed that sentiment yesterday.  I can imagine that her joyful thanksgiving was sweet smelling to our Father.  It was a good reminder to me to rejoice in all things, be thankful for all things, and to give the day to Him.

I am blessed to have children spell out the lessons from Scripture.  I must be a slow learner to need all the real life demonstrations, but I can't count how many times a light bulb has flashed when watching the simplicity and honesty of my children.  They are a gift, in more ways then one.

Perhaps you are able to read the Word, understand it and assimilate it without any leading.  But if you are slow like I am, I hope that you are able to see Truth and eternally when you watch your kids, too. 

It's Official: My Girlie is Sick

She just barely has a fever, but her throat is bad and she barely has a voice.  Poor thing.  My son is being a prince and a half, though!  He is making her toast, playing games, reading stories and being genuinely empathetic.  So sweet!

We haven't schooled today.  While sick is a mild excuse, I have used it to get some other things done.  The garage is cleaner, my sister has some school lists complete, and I scheduled some blog posts for when we go on vacation next month--hope you all like music!!

I hope everyone is staying healthy this summer. We are a pretty healthy family, but just the last couple of week have hit each of us with one form of under-the-weather status.  All winter long, we watch and pray for friends who seem to drop like flies to various viruses.  How ironic to be schlepping through August!

Give it a Try

Blogging is new to me.  I am not completely sold on it.  It feels both very public and quite lonely.  I am not particularly faithful in anything worthwhile, so it is another reason to resist the practice.  I mean who wants to put on display one of her biggest faults?

But today I was reading my personal blog.  I was reading posts I'd written about a year ago.  I'm a little ashamed of the misspellings!  I'm not sure anyone will ever read them, but I have to say it was kind of fun for me to review.  I was able to remember things I don't think I would have otherwise.  I could see how things have changed--and how they have not!  I surprised myself with my own boldness and passion.  And I was given a healthy couple of reminders about the need to pray and trust the Lord in all things.

I don't know if blogging is for everyone, but journaling or record keeping is an unexpected blessing for me.  It is wonderful to read of past blessings and trials.  It is a comfort to see the continuity of the Spirit's presence.  Things that were so important or imposing at that time now seem less so.  I hope to remember that next time I see a mountain looming on my path.

So, if you keep a diary, good for you!  If you have considered blogging, let me encourage you to give it a try!  Maybe you will bless someone else with some companionable laughs, empathetic tears or the peace that comes from knowing we aren't alone.

Freedom From the Checklist

I think one thing to remember, as a homeschooler or not--especially when your kids are young--is to ask yourself what you remember from your K-3rd grade lessons.   

This lesson was available to me when I began schooling, though I didn't take full advantage of it.  I had the benefit of my sister being about 10 years ahead of me in homeschooling and she kept telling me to relax. Then I repeated several academic years with my own kids (to save money on curriculum).  My boy, who absorbed SO MUCH the first time through, didn’t remember a whole lot of the early years I’d poured into him.  I was shocked.

My point is that what they learn in those early years is not so much academics, but behavior, attitude and identity.  My son knows he is smart.  He confidently approaches new things.  He knows what I expect of our formal school time.  And my kids know when my mood is off and are subsequently scared—that isn’t a good thing, but it is sadly something they’ve learned.  I hate to think that I would have spared them that lesson if I'd heeded my sister's advice.  If I'd relaxed in that eternal perspective, I wouldn't have stressed out every time we had off days.

The academics are learned through years of use and repetition.  It is consistency of use that helps to drive something home.  When you read to them frequently and ask them to read frequently, you may not be able to pinpoint the day fluency was achieved.  But they will be equipped with all they need to be readers for life (unless they've learned to hate reading time because they associate it with legalistic fervor to get it done).   

If you teach them to learn—to research, to ask questions—then if you have missed something, they will know how to gather the information when they need it.  It falls under the teach a man to fish rather than giving him a fish category.

I am not suggesting to NOT teach in the early years.  I just want to gently remind parents (especially of young lambs) that the facts of history, math and grammar will need to be re-taught several times through their school careers.  This first time around, I think you will be less disappointed if you expect nothing to ‘stick.’  What will stick is their perception of themselves, you and school in general—positive or negative.

On top of all that, most kids who may develop a learning style other than kinesthetic are still strong kinesthetic learners in the early years.  Hitting that muscle memory is why it is recommended to do all those art projects when they are young.  They need their bodies engaged, and they need as many senses fully immersed in an experience to best understand those things to which you are exposing them.

With that in mind, taking a day off to check out petroglyphs, horses or a museum are decision made in a different light.

And that brings me back to my first point—what do YOU remember about school?  The projects?  The trips? The teacher’s personality?  That A says apple?  The kids in class? The formula for finding the area of a trapezoid?

How Time Flies

I seem to be in a reflective mood these last several days.  Today is my niece's birthday, and I have been strolling down memory lane.  She is 17.  Her brother turned 20 last month.  My niece is in college, my nephew is moving away to his college dorm next week.  On the one hand, their lives are just beginning.  On the other, it feels indisputable that an era has ended.  I don't know if my sister is sad or excited or experiencing a mixture of those feelings as this new chapter begins in their life, but I can tell you that I--like it is all about me--am going through sympathetic empty nest syndrome.

One of the biggest influences in our decision to homeschool was the fact that my sister was homeschooling.  Now she is nearly done.  When I started schooling my own kids, this endeavor seemed so big and a forever kind of thing.  Now I see that an end does come.  I think it should be comforting, but instead I actually find it terrifying.

I am not done!  I don't feel done at all!  With children aged eleven and eight, I know I still have time, but I am acutely aware of just how quickly that time slips away.  I think back to my niece and nephew as little ones.  It wasn't that long ago!  I remember my mischievous nephew running and laughing maniacally as he flushed grandma's slippers.  I remember my darling niece allowing her friend to chop off all her hair because that is what the friend wanted to do that day.  Those things happened only yesterday when my nephew was 2, and my niece 5.  Don't even try to point out the illogic of how time works in my head!  I won't hear of it.

I love schooling my kids.  I love just being with them.  They are smart and funny and imaginative.   I am excited about the future, but feel jealously protective of now.  I don't want to miss a revelation, an achievement, or even a struggle.

I hope you all are soaking up the time with your kids, no matter what their age.  I hope these luxuriously long summer days are chock full of memory-making moments for both you and your kids.  If you'd like to share some of those memories below in the comments area, I would be blessed to read about them!

"Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." Luke 6:38

Secret Keeper Girls--playing dress-up

We had a small group, but so much fun today.  We looked through photos of fashions through the decades and trends, then the girls dressed up.  With tiaras and white gloves in place, we commenced our princess tea.  I had so much fun laughing and sharing with the girls!

I love a get-together, whatever the reason.  Game nights, tours, classes, Round Table Discussions, you name it!  I will be there.  But I started the Secret Keeper Girl club with something different in mind.  It was my daughter  who really wanted to do this.  She didn't know what it was about, of course. But she is cut from the same cloth and loves a get together.

I am blessed to have so much in common with my daughter.  I enjoy my time with her, and feel privileged to know her as intimately as I do.  I still think of her as just a little thing, but I am consciously working to allow her to grow up.  While I've never been a big fan of the idea of being my kids' friend when I am supposed to be mom, I must say the idea of our relationship evolving as they grow into one that is lasting and more on a peer level is inviting.

I consider this time with my daughter as an investment.  I want her well equipped for the years just around the corner.  But I also want a rich soil in which we can grow a beautiful friendship for life.  To be able to do this with other friends makes the whole process all the more rich.  I get to see my daughter interact with others, and I get to see her friends in a new light.  I am delighted to 'meet' these young ladies at each gathering.  They are thoughtful, sweet and full of personality.

The Trouble with Parenting...

This has always been a favorite picture of mine.

The trouble with parenting is that the results of our actions are so far away.  How do we know if we are doing the right thing?  It isn't like cooking.  I mean, I know pretty quickly that I screwed up in the kitchen.  There is a tell-tale smell, ya know!  My smoke detector chimes in, and then you really know!

When you blow it while driving, well, that is pretty obvious.  When I make a mistake with the money--there ain't no ignoring that, no matter how hard I try!

But with kids, it takes more time.  And often, by the time you figure out you're off-base, it feels too late to fix it. I get overwhelmed with the responsibility of it all.  It is a game where 'they' are playing for keeps and there are no do-overs.  How do you know what to do?

I praise the Lord that He is there for my kids.  I often pray He stands in my many gaps as I raise them.  And finally, I rest on the promise of Proverbs 22:6, and I train up my kids the way they should go so that when they are old, they will not depart from it.  I guess that means we keep plugging away, living each day with purpose and love, and leave the rest to Him.

I went searching for pictures that might demonstrate Proverbs 22:6.  Some were great, but I didn't know if I could use them.  Some were disturbing!  Then I remembered that I have that cool photo of my man leading my kids, so I went hunting for our own pictures that I knew I could use.  My darling husband is teaching our kids how to roast marshmallows on stick they sharpen themselves.

My boy is a little more into the stick-sharpening-training.  My girl would rather dance with the stick and eat the marshmallow raw.

Great weather for a Day at the Park

Yesterday evening was a lot of fun!  I think about six families showed for our park day.  It was so nice to let the kids run around without a set plan and to have the time to sit and visit with adults.  Adult conversation is a hot commodity for a lot of stay-at-home moms, and I am no exception!  It is a blessing to catch up with these neat people.

I didn't get near the number of pictures I'd hoped for.  My camera is a battery eater, and I can't always keep up with its voracious demands.  I wish that I could have gotten more shots of the kids interacting. I love watching them help each other, play together, and make up games on the fly.

There were other groups of people at the park with more children.  It was fun watching how kids form instant friendships with strangers on a playground.  We were the first KidsROCKers to get there, and there was a group of five or six girls already running around the swing set.  My son was alone on the merry-go-round when they all converged on it.  Without skipping a beat, my son make a big sweeping motion and announced, 'Everyone on!  I will push!'  The girls paused in surprise and asked in one voice, 'Everyone?'  He confirmed and they piled in.  Instant friends!

Thanks, families, for coming out on such a beautiful day to eat and chat!  It was great seeing you and hearing how summer is treating you. :)

Update: Yay!  I found the batteries and got the pictures uploaded.  This park is just so beautiful.  Green and mountains and trees and loving families!

Another update:  I looked at how the blog displayed the pictures, and they are running all over the other text.  I will try another formatting formula!

City of Ember

I have to say I have mixed feelings about watching the movie for this book.  I am enjoying the book so much, and can't wait to hear from everyone else read the book.  But the version we got has photos from the movie in it.  And just from the photos and captions we can see there will be some changes.  It always happens, doesn't it?

I look forward to the movie day for our Family Book and Movie Club, though.  It is so neat to listen to kids' impressions.  And they catch little nuances I miss.  My family appreciates both the book and movie so much more when we experience it with our friends.

My girl has been a little frustrated by all the mystery.  I am enjoying watching her pick up on clues, though.  She is not one who processes things very well by just listening.  Even with that struggle, she is getting so much from this story.  She is continually interrupting to tell me she knows how a particular character feels or that she would have done something differently.

One thing that resonated with both my kids immediately was when Lina was drawing.  The book says that things don't turn out for her on paper in the same way that she imagined it before drawing.  Wow!  The noise level did not match two sleepy kids!  They both could relate so intimately with that idea. 

I am thankful for these fun books 'off the books' of our regular school schedule.  My kids know it is just for fun and they know friends are reading the same book and they never forget that the reward for finishing is the movie day together.  Such a wonderful summer treat! 

See You at the Park!

Tomorrow is our last park day!  To make it even sadder, we missed last park day!  I LOVE park day with KidsROCK.  We are going to play a game with parents, chat (of course!) and let the kids run around on the play structures.  Janesville park is so terrific because it is clean and has a fence.  It feels a lot safer and provides easy supervision of kids who want to run all over the place.

We are bringing a picnic dinner so that we can soak up as much of the time together as possible.  I haven't decided which game we are going to play, but games are my favorite part!  People loosen up, and let their true colors show.  I love a friendly competitive spirit who really gets into the game.  We get to laugh and build friendships while beating the opponents!!  Yeah! 

I hope to see you there!

Lego Club

Boys are fun.  They have great imaginations and I love watching them work together as they build.  Of course, Lego isn't just for boys.  The girls--mine, especially--can and do join in.  But girls are special, too, and when they get together they seem to prefer the girl room where they color or play with clay (and occasionally climb out the window!).

So Lego Club is mostly for the boys, and I really enjoy seeing them just get to be boys together.  Lately they have been coming up with some terrific missions which have stretched each of them to try new things.  I love the ingenuity they use to take the same blocks each week to make entirely new creations. 

And their conversations!  It is delightful to listen in on them.  Sometimes I see such integrity and manly relationships developing when they respectfully steer conversations to avoid verboten (by a parent) topics.  Sometimes I see the bravado and friendly oneupmanship that challenges them beyond the familiar.  And I always see the coolest brick creations that reveal minds that are a wonder to me!